Blog 13

Before entering college I was already an insider to bible groups, however not an insider to a college level bible group. I had no idea what to expect. Being in a bible group in high school was something you didn't tell everyone, unless you wanted to hear some type of comment making fun of people who enjoy the environment in a bible group. Coming to college I wasn't sure if I should expect the same thing, or with so many varieties of people at Ball State, my hobbies wouldn't matter. I obviously hoped for the second choice. Going to my first meeting was exciting yet nerve racking. I was excited to see what all the hype was about CRU, I was excited to worship, and I was excited to meet new people! But in contrast, I was nervous that I would say something wrong or not be "christian enough" for someone I met. By going to CRU I realized that no one is not christian enough, everyone has their own journey and their own story to tell, and to write. I overhear so many conversations in the giant lecture hall at Pruis. I hear "are you going to the big party friday night?" and I look at the reactions of her friends. Some react with excitement, some simply say no, and others are disappointed in her choice of "fun" for her Friday night. I asked a member of CRU her opinion on people partying and still coming to CRU and calling themselves Christians. She replied with, "So many people outside of CRU get mad that our members do drink and party and call them selves a Christian, and that's where being a hypocrite comes from. But everyone is on a different page in their Christian life, that's one thing I wish outsiders could understand." Listening to her say that really clicked with me and it helped put things together. Because I as well get frustrated with the people named as hypocrites. After leaving CRU the one thing I hoped wouldn't happen, did. I was put under so much pressure to return to the meetings. If I didn't return, and I ran into someone at lunch they would immediately ask where I have been, and I would always in return disappoint them no matter what my excuse. That is something I have always felt being in youth groups before college. I feel a lot of pressure. Once I join a meeting it seems its a strict rule that I must go to every single event they hold. In the end a lot of my opinions have stayed the same but I also have been able to look at things from a different light.